They make all kinds of excuses & blame everything but dysfunctional families.

People in recovery & professionals know different.

Unfortunately it is not illegal for a parent to model dysfunctional behaviors.

Then you have the problem of denial & delusion in the parents.

What can anyone in government do to convince people they are all screwed up emotionally, spiritually & physically when that is really none of the governments business in the first place?

One thing is for sure.

Americas civic leaders must address this issue or nothing will ever change & the addiction problem will simply get worse & worse as time goes on.

Most of us in recovery feel that addicts were simply born to become addicts as there seems to be no other logical explanation.

Many addicts discover they came from dysfunctional families after they have been in recovery for awhile & finally realize that their family of origin was not so healthy after all.

Addiction runs in families & most of these familie can best be described as dysfunctional in one way or another which results in children receiving covert or overt abuse through no fault of their own.

How do you tell someone they are hurting thir children without offending them?

If anyone out there has a solution please let us know & we will pass it on.

In the mean time enjoy the 6 Oc Clock News reports.

I would also suggest you call a professional counselor & therapist & ask for help & advice for yourself.

If you had heard all the family member leads like I have over the years & all the efforts their family members made to try & get them to stop drinking to no avail you would get it that no one on this earth has any power over alcoholics or drug addicts or what they choose to say, think or do which includes drinking excessively whether you like it or not.

I go fishing or dancing when someone in my family is using or drinking & have some fun enjoying what I have left of my life.

Their drinking or using is no longer my problem & none of my business.

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People who are not in recovery have no idea what addiction is, how difficult recovery is or how serious the problem is. Not even most mother in laws. Especially the ones who are absolute control freaks when it comes to their daughters & their grandchildren.

Let go & let God is not in their vocabulary.

However, if you want to stay married you will have to find a way to get along with her.

The best way to do that is not allow her to get to you & then let go of it & do your best to control your reactions when she pushes your buttons.

If you are allowing another person to make you angry you are allowing that person to control you.

If you are a drug addict or alcoholic anger can & will get you using or drinking again & that could cost you what you have left of your life.

You must find a way to protect & take care of yourself & allow other people to be just as dysfunctional as they are or want to be.

That is not about you.

It is about them.

They are not likely to change.

Blood is thick.

Divorce is costly.

Enough to make a recoverying alcoholic want to drink or a recovering drug addict want to use.

Staying sober is more important than what other people choose to say, think or do.

For that reason I would suggest you also attend Al-Anon meetings even though you are in recovery for drug addiction & work both programs & be what they call a double winner.

Suggestion: If you are  single & a recovering drug addict, alcoholic or other type of addict do yourself a favor & do not allow yourself to become romantically involved with anyone you meet at Al-Anon meetings.

That could cause you to want to drink or use again.

Been there & done that.

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Here is a list of them

It is fairly obvious that members of his family are  now looking for someone to blame for his death.

In truth & reality his addiction to drugs & the fact he was obviously a drug addict was the cause of his death.

Who has ever heard of a drug addict that could not get his drugs of choice when he wanted to?

Micheal Jackson had millions of dollars at his disposal & therefore could get any type of drug he wanted.

That he did & now he is dead.

I feel bad for his family & him.

His death was needless & senseless.

That is why AA & NA calls addiction cunning, baffling & powerful.

If addiction can kill someone like Micheal Jackson why not me or you or a member of our family?

Addiction is the demon.

CNN

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A lot of the people who facilitate these recovery groups have attended AA, NA or Al-Anon meetings in the past so they know the score when it comes to recovery & what is necessary.

Some recoverying people go to both religious & twelve step program meeetings.

Many ministers are realizing that addiction & co-dependence recovery is different than religious teaching due to the ridgid denial & delusion associated with addiction, alcoholism & co-dependence. 

They facilitate special anonymous recovery group meetings for these unfortunate people as a service to their congregations & communities.

They are also aware that members of their congregations may be afflicted or will become afflicted in the future so they go out of their way to help & facilitate them.

Many churches also allow recoverying people to hold their twelve step group meetings on the premises of their churches as a public service to their communities & people afflicted.

The twelve step groups are operating as renters of meeting space only & not associated with or a part of the churches.

Get recovery where it is available & do not rule out religious recovery programs as they are a valuable & worthy recovery resource for thousands of recoverying addicts & co-dependents in America.

The Big Book of AA even suggest that alcoholics would do well to investigate & seek out what religious people may have to offer them as a part of their recovery.

In other words keep an open mind when it comes to help being offered you.

All help is valuable & appreciated.

It could help you save what you have left of your life if you are a drug addict or alcoholic.

In the Dayton area Ginghamsburg Church & The Vineyard have religious recovery programs available or they can tell you where to find them in the Dayton area.

A Male Prostitute Is Saved from Addiction by Jesus Christ

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His name is Monty Man & his radio station is called Take12 Radio.

He has a lot of audio tapes on addiction & co-dependence & recovery on his websites.

If you are new to recovery you can learn a lot from The Monty Man.

He has the best inter-net recovery radio show on the inter-net & he is a class act.

He will go out of his way to help anyone who still suffers.

He helped me & I never asked for help.

He asked nothing in return.

That was a bright spot in my life.

If you are in recovery send him a few bucks.

You will receive back ten times what you give.

I did.

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In case you are wondering about me calling addiction & co-dependency mental disorders they are actually mental illnesses according to our government & insurance companies.

I have seen drug addicts & alcoholics killed in accidents, overdose deaths, murders, suicides, murder suicides, health problems, premature death, prison time, divorce, broken relationships, financial hardship & insecurity, etc.

I have also seen alcoholics & drug addicts kill other people & members of their families or harm them in many ways.

80% of all crime & violence in America is drug related.

Since 911 150,000 Americans murdered & 500,000 shot of which 80% were drug related?

That is serious.

There is no known permanent cure for addiction & all an addict can do is stay abstinent & sober one day at a time.

Many do that forever & many do not & relapse often.

I have seen drug addicts & alcoholics stay sober for years & out of the blue start using or drinking again for no valid reason at all.

That is why they call drug addiction & alcoholism cunning, baffling & powerful which is in my opinion an understatement. It is much worse than that & it is fatal.

Most of the old timers in recovery in AA & NA are aware of this & continue to work their programs by helping others even though they themselves have been abstinent & sober for many years.

They know they could have a relapse & start using or drinking at any time.

Why? They have seen many others go down that road over the years.

They know they are powerless over alcohol or drugs even though they have been sober for years & years.

Why? They know they have a problem with drug addiction or alcoholism & know all addiction is in a sense about not being able to say no or not having that boundary at certain times simply because of the power their addiction has over them.

Often times newcomers go to a few meetings or counseling sessions & say to themselves “Wow what a relief,” “I am glad I know I am a drug addict or alcoholic & this all over with!”

Not!

Big mistake.

It is just the beginning of their journey into recovery.

Recovery is not an event.

It is a process that takes most recovering people a long time & for many that means years & years.

That is why they recommend 90 meetings in 90 days to newcomers.

If you are new to recovery you would be wise to listen to what the old timers say & you would also be wise to do what they suggest whether you think it is necessary for your recovery or not.

Get a sponsor!

How?

Ask someone in your meetings to be your sponsor.

Preferably someone who has been abstinent & sober for a while & has worked through all the steps to the satisfaction of their own sponsor. 

Believe me AA or NA sponsors  can help you.

Only  if they get you before you die.

This is one of my favorite recovery videos which pretty much sums it all up.

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If you are an addict it really does not matter what caused you to become an addict as abstinence from your compulsive addictive behaviors is your only solution if you want to lead a more normal life free of your addiction & the painful consequences suffered as a result of acting it out.

You have to simply stop acting out first & figure out how to stay stopped if you really want recovery.

This is the best defintion of addiction that I have ever come across.

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When you give up your secrets it cuts the power addiction or co-dependency has over you in half.

A large part of recovery for addiction or codendency is being willing to tell another person your secrets & especially what you have done to hurt yourself & others.

Always do this with a safe person that will keep it confidentual such as a sponsor in a twelve step program who has given up quite a few of his or her own secrets to achieve abstinence & sobriety.

Watch telling anyone anything if you feel they are prone to gossip.

No one is perfect & gossip is the pastime of a lot of human beings on this earth including some people in twelve step recovery programs.

When we hurt others or ourselves we take on guilt & shame.

Guilt says what I did was no good.

Shame says I am no good.

Giving up these secrets reduces guilt & shame.

Guilt & shame is the fuel that fires drug addiction, alcoholism & co-dependence so don’t be hard on yourself as you are not alone or the only one that has made bad decisions or mistakes.

If you are keeping the fact secret that you have a problem with alcohol, drugs or codependent behaviors there is not much hope that you will ever be able to recover.

Not on your own.

White knuckling works for awhile but very seldom sustains.

All drug addicts, alcoholics & co-dependents will stay as sick as their secrets.

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Call a professional counselor or therapist asap & tell them about it.

This is the best sexual addiction counselor in America.

If the person acting out sexually is a female checkout Anne Bissell.

If you want to know all about compulsive sexual behaviors & recovery checkout this link.

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