I think my husband is an alcoholic. How can I get him to stop drinking?

I have no idea but I would suggest you start attending Al-Anon meetings asap.

I would also suggest you call a professional counselor & therapist & ask for help & advice for yourself.

Maybe find out why you were attracted to someone like that in the first place as “birds of the same feather always flock together!” which basically means you may want to also take a good look at yourself & family of origin.

I always thought about chaining them up in a closet for a year so they could not get near alcohol or drugs but the law here in Ohio says you are not allowed to do that even though it could just help them save what they have left of their lives.

If you had heard all the family member leads like I have over the years & all the efforts their family members made to try & get them to stop drinking to no avail you would get it that no one on this earth has any power over alcoholics or drug addicts or what they choose to say, think or do which includes drinking excessively whether you like it or not.

I go fishing or dancing when someone in my family is using or drinking & have some fun enjoying what I have left of my life.

Their drinking or using is no longer my problem & none of my business.

My younger son is dead from drug addiction & alcoholism even though I had been in recovery at the time of his death for years & years.

He never heard anything I ever said in my attempts to try & help him & if he did he would rationalize & disagree to defend his self-destructive & self-abusive compulsive addictive dangerous dysfunctional behaviors that ended up getting him murdered trying to buy illegal drugs for another person as a favor to his girlfriend at the young age of thirty years old.

He would always ask me why I was so negative about his thinking & behavior.

He was just to smart for his own good.

He needed to figure out how to get dumb real fast in reality.

Who would not be negative about alcohol or drug abuse?

Chemical dependency?

An alcohlic’s or drug addict’s behavior?

Believe me I know how you feel.

I had  alcoholic step fathers & both of my sons were chemical dependent not to mention various relationship partners over the years.

Only people in recovery programs with the same problems knew what I was going through or feeling & that is where I got the help I needed.

The only word I have for it is fear.

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I am in recovery for drug addiction & I can not stand my mother in law. What should I do?

I hear this problem a lot. Very common. The best thing to do is detach with love & say to yourself “this person is sick” “what can I do to help her?’ Then stay away from her as often as you can & don’t allow anything she says or does get to you unless you want to start using or drinking again. If you did or said something that was wrong make your amends. If you have no idea what that was try asking her.

People who are not in recovery have no idea what addiction is, how difficult recovery is or how serious the problem is. Not even most mother in laws. Especially the ones who are absolute control freaks when it comes to their daughters & their grandchildren.

Let go & let God is not in their vocabulary.

However, if you want to stay married you will have to find a way to get along with her.

The best way to do that is not allow her to get to you & then let go of it & do your best to control your reactions when she pushes your buttons.

If you are allowing another person to make you angry you are allowing that person to control you.

If you are a drug addict or alcoholic anger can & will get you using or drinking again & that could cost you what you have left of your life.

You must find a way to protect & take care of yourself & allow other people to be just as dysfunctional as they are or want to be.

That is not about you.

It is about them.

They are not likely to change.

Blood is thick.

Divorce is costly.

Enough to make a recoverying alcoholic want to drink or a recovering drug addict want to use.

Staying sober is more important than what other people choose to say, think or do.

For that reason I would suggest you also attend Al-Anon meetings even though you are in recovery for drug addiction & work both programs & be what they call a double winner.

Suggestion: If you are  single & a recovering drug addict, alcoholic or other type of addict do yourself a favor & do not allow yourself to become romantically involved with anyone you meet at Al-Anon meetings.

That could cause you to want to drink or use again.

Been there & done that.

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Did Micheal Jackson Die From Drug Addiction?

Drug addiction has taken many famous celebrities over the years.

Here is a list of them

It is fairly obvious that members of his family are  now looking for someone to blame for his death.

In truth & reality his addiction to drugs & the fact he was obviously a drug addict was the cause of his death.

Who has ever heard of a drug addict that could not get his drugs of choice when he wanted to?

Micheal Jackson had millions of dollars at his disposal & therefore could get any type of drug he wanted.

That he did & now he is dead.

I feel bad for his family & him.

His death was needless & senseless.

That is why AA & NA calls addiction cunning, baffling & powerful.

If addiction can kill someone like Micheal Jackson why not me or you or a member of our family?

Addiction is the demon.

CNN

 

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Do religious drug addiction or alcoholism recovery programs work?

Yes. Many of them are modeled after the twelve steps of AA just like other twelve step programs like NA & Al-Anon.They may re-word the twelve steps to coincide with their religious beliefs or what the bible says but they will work all the same if you work them.

A lot of the people who facilitate these recovery groups have attended AA, NA or Al-Anon meetings in the past so they know the score when it comes to recovery & what is necessary.

Some recoverying people go to both religious & twelve step program meeetings.

Many ministers are realizing that addiction & co-dependence recovery is different than religious teaching due to the ridgid denial & delusion associated with addiction, alcoholism & co-dependence. 

They facilitate special anonymous recovery group meetings for these unfortunate people as a service to their congregations & communities.

They are also aware that members of their congregations may be afflicted or will become afflicted in the future so they go out of their way to help & facilitate them.

Many churches also allow recoverying people to hold their twelve step group meetings on the premises of their churches as a public service to their communities & people afflicted.

The twelve step groups are operating as renters of meeting space only & not associated with or a part of the churches.

Get recovery where it is available & do not rule out religious recovery programs as they are a valuable & worthy recovery resource for thousands of recoverying addicts & co-dependents in America.

The Big Book of AA even suggest that alcoholics would do well to investigate & seek out what religious people may have to offer them as a part of their recovery.

In other words keep an open mind when it comes to help being offered you.

All help is valuable & appreciated.

It could help you save what you have left of your life if you are a drug addict or alcoholic.

In the Dayton area Ginghamsburg Church & The Vineyard have religious recovery programs available or they can tell you where to find them in the Dayton area.

A Male Prostitute Is Saved from Addiction by Jesus Christ

 

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eRecovering Drug Addict Monty Man Take12Radio Dedicates His Life To Helping Others

Back in June of 2006 when my son was murdered trying to buy drugs in Dayton, Ohio I was in need & a kind man (recoverying drug addict) from Oregon called me & came to my aid. He made banners for my websites free of charge & interviewed me on his national inter-net radio show. I can not tell you how much that meant to me. To know someone out there cared. I knew nothing of computers. I just started making websites at age 61 & all I knew how to do was emails.

His name is Monty Man & his radio station is called Take12 Radio.

He has a lot of audio tapes on addiction & co-dependence & recovery on his websites.

If you are new to recovery you can learn a lot from The Monty Man.

He has the best inter-net recovery radio show on the inter-net & he is a class act.

He will go out of his way to help anyone who still suffers.

He helped me & I never asked for help.

He asked nothing in return.

That was a bright spot in my life.

If you are in recovery send him a few bucks.

You will receive back ten times what you give.

I did.

 

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How serious is drug addiction or alcoholism?

Addiction is virtually a matter of life or death. If you have been around various addiction & codependency recovery programs like I have there is not much you have not seen or heard when it comes to painful consequences brought on by these horrible mental disorders.

In case you are wondering about me calling addiction & co-dependency mental disorders they are actually mental illnesses according to our government & insurance companies.

I have seen drug addicts & alcoholics killed in accidents, overdose deaths, murders, suicides, murder suicides, health problems, premature death, prison time, divorce, broken relationships, financial hardship & insecurity, etc.

I have also seen alcoholics & drug addicts kill other people & members of their families or harm them in many ways.

80% of all crime & violence in America is drug related.

Since 911 150,000 Americans murdered & 500,000 shot of which 80% were drug related?

That is serious.

There is no known permanent cure for addiction & all an addict can do is stay abstinent & sober one day at a time.

Many do that forever & many do not & relapse often.

I have seen drug addicts & alcoholics stay sober for years & out of the blue start using or drinking again for no valid reason at all.

That is why they call drug addiction & alcoholism cunning, baffling & powerful which is in my opinion an understatement. It is much worse than that & it is fatal.

Most of the old timers in recovery in AA & NA are aware of this & continue to work their programs by helping others even though they themselves have been abstinent & sober for many years.

They know they could have a relapse & start using or drinking at any time.

Why? They have seen many others go down that road over the years.

They know they are powerless over alcohol or drugs even though they have been sober for years & years.

Why? They know they have a problem with drug addiction or alcoholism & know all addiction is in a sense about not being able to say no or not having that boundary at certain times simply because of the power their addiction has over them.

Often times newcomers go to a few meetings or counseling sessions & say to themselves “Wow what a relief,” “I am glad I know I am a drug addict or alcoholic & this all over with!”

Not!

Big mistake.

It is just the beginning of their journey into recovery.

Recovery is not an event.

It is a process that takes most recovering people a long time & for many that means years & years.

That is why they recommend 90 meetings in 90 days to newcomers.

If you are new to recovery you would be wise to listen to what the old timers say & you would also be wise to do what they suggest whether you think it is necessary for your recovery or not.

Get a sponsor!

How?

Ask someone in your meetings to be your sponsor.

Preferably someone who has been abstinent & sober for a while & has worked through all the steps to the satisfaction of their own sponsor. 

Believe me AA or NA sponsors  can help you.

Only  if they get you before you die.

This is one of my favorite recovery videos which pretty much sums it all up.

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What causes people to become drug addicts or alcoholics?

That is the $64,000 question among people in recovery. The truth is no one on earth really knows what causes people to become addicts. They know what addicts are, what they do to act out in compulsive addictive behaviors & how that adversely affects them & other people but they do not know why addicts become addicts or what really causes it. Being raised in a severely dysfunctional family along with hereditary genes seems to be the culprit but medical evidence is not sufficient at this time to absolutely prove that.

If you are an addict it really does not matter what caused you to become an addict as abstinence from your compulsive addictive behaviors is your only solution if you want to lead a more normal life free of your addiction & the painful consequences suffered as a result of acting it out.

You have to simply stop acting out first & figure out how to stay stopped if you really want recovery.

This is the best defintion of addiction that I have ever come across.

What is an addict?

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Do drug addicts, alcoholics & their family members stay as sick as their secrets?

Secrecy is what gives addiction it’s power & keeps drug addicts & alcoholics in denial & delusion.

When you give up your secrets it cuts the power addiction or co-dependency has over you in half.

A large part of recovery for addiction or codendency is being willing to tell another person your secrets & especially what you have done to hurt yourself & others.

Always do this with a safe person that will keep it confidentual such as a sponsor in a twelve step program who has given up quite a few of his or her own secrets to achieve abstinence & sobriety.

Watch telling anyone anything if you feel they are prone to gossip.

No one is perfect & gossip is the pastime of a lot of human beings on this earth including some people in twelve step recovery programs.

When we hurt others or ourselves we take on guilt & shame.

Guilt says what I did was no good.

Shame says I am no good.

Giving up these secrets reduces guilt & shame.

Guilt & shame is the fuel that fires drug addiction, alcoholism & co-dependence so don’t be hard on yourself as you are not alone or the only one that has made bad decisions or mistakes.

If you are keeping the fact secret that you have a problem with alcohol, drugs or codependent behaviors there is not much hope that you will ever be able to recovery.

Not on your own.

White knuckling works for awhile but very seldom sustains.

All drug addicts, alcoholics & co-dependents will stay as sick as their secrets.

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I think my spouse, family member or friend exhibits compulsive sexual behaviors. What should I do?

Checkout this list of twelve step program meetings & find the proper meeting in your area & attend at least six meetings to get the help & information you will need to deal with this very serious situation. The denial & delusion associated with sexual addiction in men or women is much more powerful than alcohol or drugs.

Call a professional counselor or therapist asap & tell them about it.

This is the best sexual addiction counselor in America.

If the person acting out sexually is a female checkout Anne Bissell.

If you want to know all about compulsive sexual behaviors & recovery checkout this link.

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I want to stop drinking or using drugs. What should I do?

Reach out for help from others who have experience in these matters by attending AA or NA meetings asap.It is recommended that you attend at least six meetings before you decide for yourself whether or not you think you are an alcoholic or drug addict. If you know without doubt that you are an alcoholic or drug addict & you know you can not stop drinking or using under your own willpower it is recommended that you attend 90 meetings in 90 days.

Call a professional counselor or therapist & tell them about it.

If you live in the Dayton area checkout all your options by calling Crisis  Care 1-937-224-4646.

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